What you see isn’t always the truth: the real biz on life outside of blogging
Anytime I’m with my extended family or I touch base with people I haven’t seen in awhile they always ask “so, what is it that you do?” Because most of them follow me on social media it never fails that I’m met with faces of confusion when I say Digital Marketer or talk about the work I do with residential facilities. Like most people, they see Instagram or our website and think I’m living a completely different life.
There have been countless times that I’ve texted with my little cousins or talk with my teenage sister and her friends and all they ask me about is hair and makeup. Everyone wants to know what product I’m using to get my eyebrow on point or how I keep my cabinet stocked with natural hair products. While I enjoy makeup and hair and all of the other things that we post about on the site, there is so much more to me.
I’ll be honest and admit that I have been the catalyst for this confusion. Social media can be a fantastic space to stay connected with people you don’t see daily, but most times I don’t feel it’s the place for my personal life. I am very protective of my personal space, so it’s rare that I share things about my family, work, or interests outside of things I blog about.
ALSO, if I’m going to be completely candid, “bloggers” don’t post basic shit. When you check the sites and social of people who call themselves bloggers it’s all well-lit photos, perfect makeup, beautifully arranged plates, and artsy angles. The blogosphere often seems to be a space where everyone is screaming “be authentic” while stacking on filters and faking the funk. I’m not proud of it, but I’m definitely guilty. *hangs head & goes to stand in the corner*
Before I continue I want to take a sec and backpaddle because I feel like I’ve set the scene for my farewell to blogging. Not the case at all. Honestly, I love blogging. Writing has been a major part of my life for as long as I can remember and I love having the platform to write whatever I want. I have also met so many amazing people and experienced some pretty cool things that would not have happened if it wasn’t for blogging. I’m so appreciative of this medium. I do however think it’s due time for a little reevaluation and honesty. So, we’ll play a little game.
Two truths & a Lie
1. I am a blogger
So, duh right? I mean you’re literally on my blog right now reading this. I speak this truth though because I want to add that blogger is not my profession. Though Co and I put tons of time and energy into this site it does not keep the lights on. Monday through Friday I am a digital marketer for blue collar businesses. Saturday and Sunday I am a special ed certified mental health associate at a youth residential facility. Yup, you read that right I work 7 days a week. When I’m not doing either of those I freelance writing web copy and providing small businesses with social media consultation. I say all of this just so no one gets it twisted. If blogging is something you’re doing now or that you’re aspiring to do please know that those making a living have been doing this for YEARS. If you check the blog archives or scroll all the way back on Youtube you’ll see that many of them started before blogging/vlogging was really a thing. I do hope that this will eventually this will take a little of the pressure off, but for now, my life doesn’t revolve around it.
2. I get tired
Look, don’t let Kevin Gates have yal out here feeling inadequate. I get what I need to done on time, however, there are plenty of days when I have to give myself a super pep talk to keep going. Though Instagram and Facebook can make it look easy, it’s not. I enjoy writing and creating content, but on top of that, there’s structure, links, fact checking, editing, and quite a few other things that go into it.
The other part of tired is something Co and I discuss frequently. When we first started our blog (and even after our rebrand) trying to live within our niche was burning us out. Like I mentioned earlier blog life is only a portion of who I am. While I love hair and beauty talking about that all day can get old very fast. If you’ve followed Tiff + Coco through the years then you’ve noticed us going ghost from time to time. This is usually when we both feel overwhelmed with things we find superficial. We went through a long period of trying to keep up and be the bloggers we thought we had to be and it was draining. I get tired of trying to make everything look perfect and this is me letting you all know that I’m drifting away from it quickly.
3. I’m perfect
If yal aren’t screaming “lie” at your computer screen right now I’ll do it for you. I am nowhere near perfect. Perfection is seriously an illusion. I don’t think I’m the best blogger on the planet nor am I aiming to be. I like many others in the blogging community have almost given this up because the quest to be perfect has just been too much. It can seriously take the joy out of something that I love. I’ve realized that chasing perfection can kill your dreams and stop you from doing things you’re passionate about. Perfect isn’t for me.
I spend a lot of my time supporting and trying to create positive spaces for women, especially younger ones. I love working in residential facilities because it gives me a chance to be hands on and really talk to young girls about life and what they are capable of. The more conversations I have with people about the superficial aspects of my life that they see through social media the more I began to realize that I don’t always practice what I preach. How can I tell young girls to be themselves and don’t worry about how the world views them when I’m doing it for the gram on the daily? The internal struggle has become mad real, so I’m just gonna keep it real from now on. To everyone who rocks with us, I hope that won’t change. I love yal!!
If you’ve struggled with living your life while trying to be an amazing blogger discuss with me below. ALSO, share your links in the comments so that I can check out your blogs.