Nola Darling is Cool and All, but She’s NOT the Black Female Character I Needed

Nola Darling is a fuck boy. Yeah, I said it. Keep reading and I’ll prove to you why


nola darling- tiff and coco-

I won’t front, when this show came to Netflix it was poppin. It was trending like crazy on Twitter, and if I asked any of my black girlfriends what they were on it was most certainly She’s Gotta Have It.  There were immediate comparisons made to Insecure and everyone was hype to have another strong, black, female lead to fill up their free time. But.  even after multiple attempts I just couldn’t get into it. I tried over and over to love the little idiosyncrasies that were Nola Darling, but each time ended in failure.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the appeal. She’s fine as hell, sexually free, layered, and brown AF. On paper, she’s everything I’d want from a television lead.   However, it just didn’t work for me. The more I watched the more I became annoyed with her and embarrassed by her antics.

While everyone seemed to admire that she says exactly what’s on her mind, I thought that most of the time it was reckless and out of line. I feel like she did and said a lot of things to draw attention to herself, but then got upset when it happened.

Take the black dress situation, for example. The whole purpose of the dress was to say “Fuck the male gaze. I’m here. Don’t be overwhelmed by allll of this”. But the second anyone expressed their opinion about the dress she threw a full-blown temper tantrum. Like instead of standing in her shit and owning it, even when people didn’t approve,  she gets upset, yells, and walks away. Like how empowered is that, really?

The second thing that didn’t really sit right with me was that in episode after episode, Nola pretends to be freer and more in control than everyone around as if she has it all figured out.  When, in reality, she’s scattered and pretty much holding on by a thread. She takes bold stands, makes grandiose statements, and is super judgmental. She can’t pay her own bills, she’s frequently late, she’s irresponsible, and kind of immature. I mean I’m really not one to talk because, shit, I’m scattered AF, but Nola for some reason has the audacity to tell other people what to do with their lives. Giiirrllll, please.  Was that not you who flashed your house key necklace at Opal talkin’ ’bout “I’m learning”? Biiiitttccchhhh,  you too damn old for your life to be this level of out of control. There are elementary kids out here who keep up with house keys on a regular basis. You have no excuse.

THEN, sweet baby Jesus, she tried to barter with her therapist. I just sat and looked at her stare in this black woman’s face like sis, what the actual fuck? I appreciate you FINALLY taking some steps to get your shit together, but you seriously have some nerve.

With each episode it became more clear to me just why I couldn’t rock with her; Nola Darling is a fuck boy.

stay with me here

So keep it funky yal, in the grand scheme of things Nola doesn’t bring shit to the table. She’s always one step from making it, one step from getting on her feet, and one step from not needing everything from you. She puts the V on her partners’ something fierce and has their noses so wind open that they’re just doing the most. Like believing in the dreams she’s hardly working on and feeding her ego not realizing that she’s taking more from them than they really have to offer.

…sound familiar?

If that’s not enough, then we can talk about her permanent state of wishy-washy? Each man is constantly trying to be her only one, but she pushes them away with vigor. “This moment right here is all that this is,” she tells Jamie in episode 2.

 I’m all for it and for her not wanting to be committed, however, if that’s really what she means then why does she get so upset about not meeting any of his friends? Is that not “girlfriend” stuff? If she doesn’t want any of them to be a permanent fixture in her life why does she care if they’re doing anything for her besides providing a lil d and some attention when she needs it? She goes hard to make sure everyone knows she’s not up for any kind of commitment, but seems to want them all to want to be committed to her.

We’ve all dealt with this nigga before, right? Ya know, the one who likes sleeping with you and hitting you up from time to time but isn’t looking for anything serious. YET, the second you stop replying to his midnight “wyd” text or don’t have time to “chill” he’s in his feelings. He is Nola.

And I know yal are probably like these niggas are trash, so just charge it to the game, but does she really have to be like them?

About midway through the series she seems to see the error in her ways and  finally decided to let go of her hotation. For like 3 seconds I believed that she was finally gonna but better, and then she hit us with what is probably the most trash line of the series:

“That don’t mean I can’t still smash though” 

And I just knew it was all downhill from there. I just felt in my heart that she was about to go super Saiyan fuck boy, and she did not stray from character.

In true Nola fashion,  she calls on an old thang that she knows will let her back in. She implants herself all up in Opal’s life needing all of her love and attention just to be trash. She wholeheartedly knows that she has no good intentions for Opal. She said it herself, yet she still carries her ass over there. She engages with Opal’s daughter, buys her gifts (which Opal pays for), and makes plans (which she ultimately breaks). It’s SO frustrating. Why Opal?

I regularly see women on tv and in my everyday life getting played by bum ass dudes, so I really could’ve done without it from Nola. It was disheartening, maddening, and for sure the cherry on top of a lackluster sundae.

I know you guys dig her and are rooting for everyone black, but this one just wasn’t for me. I too am here for melanin everywhere I can find it, but I won’t lower my standards for the sake of supporting something brown. I told myself that in 2018 I was giving up fuck boys, and Nola is no exception.

As a show, She’s Gotta Have It was limited in character development and storyline, and as a character Nola was disappointing.

I’m really interested in how you all felt about the show, the characters, and of course Nola so please drop a few comments below so that we can discuss.


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Lifestyle blog- Nashville TN- TiffandCoco











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