Taking Stock of the Company You Keep

Separate yourself from the negative people in your life and cultivate a tribe that refills your cup.


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Life is all about making choices. From the food you eat to the college you attend- you have the power to choose the things you want. One of the most important choices you get to make, however, is who you spend your time with.

There are so many outside forces bringing stress and uncertainty into life that it’s important to have people around  who help refill your cup.  Being selective of who you choose to allow in your personal space is vital to cultivating a supportive tribe, and consistently staying in a place of mental stability.

As the years go by it’s easy to collect people and feel obligated to them without assessing what role everyone plays. Though it’s tough, it is just as important to separate yourself from toxic people as it is to hold tight to those who nurture your spirit. This is why it’s important to take stock of the company you keep and let go of people who aren’t bringing anything positive to the table.

As you grow and begin to fill the shoes you were destined to wear, you’ll notice that not everyone around you supports your change. This is a definite sign that not all of your friendships are as balanced as they should be.

I say this not to prompt a mass reduction in your friends list, but to help you notice those holding you back from greatness. Though not everyone purposefully slithers themselves in a position to betray you, monkey throwers, drainers, drama queens, users, and haters can position themselves in your life without you realizing it, and do more harm than good.

If you have any of these people in your life, it’s time you all have a talk.

Monkey throwers

These are the people who come to you carrying burdens that they eventually put on you.  They don’t consider that might already be barring weight on your shoulders and pile their stuff on because they know you’ll fix it.


These are the people who complain as much as they blink. Everything that comes out of their mouths is negative, and they find a way to discredit any source of hope you send their way.  You could be having a bad day, but they will assure you time and time again that theirs is worse.

Drama queens

These are the people who always have something messy going on in their life and feel you need to be involved in it.  They spread gossip faster than TMZ and make you feel cautious telling them stuff because you don’t know who will hear it next.


These are the people who only remember your number when they need something. Whether it’s a ride, advice on their relationship, or to borrow a few dollars it’s your phone that rings. They often play up concern to smooth over their need for a favor.


We all know what a hater is, but it’s harder to spot them when their dressed as a friend. All I can say is pay attention to the people who don’t clap when you succeed.


People enter your life at different stages, and as you grow what you need from them changes.  It’s cool if you still wanna be friends with Brittany from elementary school, but make sure you check her intentions and the energy she brings into your life.  Whether you want to believe it or not, the reality is that not everyone who says they’re for you is really for you.  This goes for people you just met yesterday and those you’ve known all your life.

Though it may be difficult to step back from people you’ve been close to for a long time, recognizing and valuing the people who truly care about you is important.  Clearing negative or draining people from your space allows you to focus on the people and things that bring joy and ease to your life.  Creating synergy between your mental and physical space is the only recipe for success, and you owe it to yourself to move through life purposefully with a good state of mind. Your friends should hold you down like a 90s sitcom. Do they?


Lifestyle blog- Nashville TN- TiffandCoco

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